The subject of no regrets, for those who’ve watched my TEDx talk, you’ll see that what triggered me was my father’s death who had a load of regrets, and that’s when I vowed that I was not going out that same way. So I spent a lot of time in personal development, spirituality, exploring many different things, and adventure was a big one for me, and has taught me so much about life and the depths of my soul… running 6 marathons across the Sahara desert, you ‘find yourself’ in the middle of that desert, as I’ve also done on mountains.
So if you want to live a life of no regrets, it’s time to get clear on your life’s purpose, as many people are chasing certain goals and actually missing the point. I can really look back and go, if I’d of gone out, and I was very close to dying in a massive earthquake on Everest last year, I could do so with no regrets, knowing that I’d actually done everything I wanted to do in this life, to that point. But so many people can’t.
So I instigated a research study, where we took 20 studies from around the world, about the top regrets of the dying. I’m going to show you the top 6 regrets, and I want you to choose one, go to work on it (and don’t wait for a catastrophe to happen for you to do so). I want to take you deep and I’m going to ask you some penetrative questions over the next series of blogs. So let’s play full out!
So here are the top 6 regrets, and this is in order by the way. So we’re going to come back up to the number 1 like Top of the Pops, it’s the charts.
- Number 6 is one of my favourites, it always came out as not travelling more, or adventure, or cool times. So people always, they wish they travelled, they wish they’d taken more trips, they wished they’d gone and seen what they wanted to see in the world. It came up as travel, a lot more than adventure. For me it’s adventure, and I just happen to hook it up with cool things. And I think as you sort of go down the generations, it’s becoming a lot more adventurous and a lot more ‘wanting to see the top things in the world’ as well as experience. It’s moving more towards experiences as we move down the generation.
- Number 5, is not spending a life true to yourself. That’s big. That went into a lot of different genres. But it was living a life for somebody else, living a life, I think we’ve got this deep calling in us, which is our calling right, it’s our lives. For me it was adventure. Now nobody around me agrees with my adventure, my family doesn’t support me on my adventures, they never have. So I could have just listened to everyone else around me, but it’s finding that life true to yourself, whatever that may be. That’s quite profound. And the question is then, what is a life true to you really mean?
- Number 4, is not getting an education. Now this came out as university degrees in a couple of studies, i.e. wishing they’d got that degree, wishing they’d got that education, but it came out in so many other stories of, wish I’d learnt X, wish I’d changed you know, attack, or I wanted to learn how to draw or you know, how to craft. I wanted to do stuff, just learning. It was that constant learning appreciation. And the older one got, the more this came out, is wishing they’d learnt something or wishing they’d studied something that they were fascinated in. And with the access we’ve got these days, the resources, you can do anything you want anywhere in the world right now, it’s incredible. So we’re in an age that shouldn’t be an excuse any more. You’ve just got to get up and do it. Is there something you wish you’d learnt, is there something you wish you studied, go do it.
- Number 3, is not spending more time with friends and family. That was an obvious one, but you know, really, how many of us are doing it? Let’s be true to ourselves on this on this one. How many of you are really spending quality time you should with your friends and your family? Now this is a big one, regards career and business, i.e. you need to craft your career and your business to ensure you can spend your time with your friends and your family, for me it’s a big one, being able to architect my businesses around this. You know, I’m single Dad to 3 beautiful girls, and I spend half the time, I’ve architected my businesses, so half the time I’m with my children. I’m a single Dad in that time, that’s super important to me. Cos I chose, that I knew that if I come, you know, the weekend Dad or whatever that I would have regretted that later in life, and I’m all about no regrets and so I’m going to tell you, some of these decisions are not the easy decisions to make. But for me, the time with my family and my time with my friends, super important to me. But I have to make the time for it, I have to architect my life around that OK.
- Number 2, is not fully owning your path, now that means in career and business. This came out top. We just did a study recently in the business side, I do a lot of work on the strategy side, 90,000 hours we spend at work. 90,000 hours, now you and think that one through and being in a career that you don’t really like or you wish you’d have done something else, that’s a big ass regret, 90,000 hours worth of regret. That’s a big part of your life alright. So this came out strong and it came out in different guises. In the subsequent videos we’re going to take each of these deeper alright. But this whole, are you in the right job, do you want to change career, do you want to start a business, do you want to be an entrepreneur? By the way, it’s not always about that. I’m big in the business side and entrepreneurial side OK, but I don’t advocate it for everyone, it’s not the journey for everyone. But you can choose your job, you know, whatever you are, you’ve got a choice around your career. Which means you might want to study by the way, you start to see how these regrets start linking together. But, spending the amount of time we do in work and career, you need to get that one right, alright.
- Number 1, is not having not loved fully. That’s profound. I think certainly living in the age we’re living in now, this relationship thing is a big issue, this was your intimate love, this was your partner, whether this came as a wishing that you’d asked somebody and never did, staying with somebody that you shouldn’t have stayed with, not working on the relationship, being complacent, this came in so many guises. And I resonate with that myself personally, as I can see around myself in business and life. So many of us are smashing it in business and doing really well and completely screwing our relationships up. Some of us are doing amazingly in health and maybe you know, travelling the world but then screwing our relationships up. So there’s a balance between all of these 6 alright, so that’s the 6.
Now hopefully you’re already starting to take something out of this. What I want you to do is think about those 6. You can access the downloadable workbook here, so you can start to assess your own regrets & the changes you can make now. Which one’s really hitting you hard right now, don’t try to go and work on all 6 at the same time alright, you’re going to freak yourself out.
In the 6 blogs I’m going to take each one of these regrets, and go deeper with you. So you’re going to get more specific about what you can do and the actions you can take in each of these areas. So until the next video, live a life of no regrets and go do work.